In case you missed the memo, one of My Very Favourite People in the ENTIRE universe is my friend Anne. And if you did miss the memo, then you clearly don't know me At All.
Not having her in my day-to-day, air is Terrible and Traumatic, and I can't talk about it. Thanks to modern technology, we do get to communicate with some frequency.
(If you'd like to donate towards me being reunited with my beautiful Anne, well, yes, I'm taking donations. I take gold, credit cards or cash. I'm completely reasonable about our options.)
I won't incriminate myself, er, bore you with the specifics of our weekly conversations, but I'll share instead an excerpt from a "Parks and Rec" episode's Leslie and Ann. They are essentially us; I'll let you figure out which one of us is Ann and which is Leslie. You'd better not get it wrong.
Leslie: Oh my God-everything in my life is going wrong right now. Who’s fault is this? I demand to know.
Ann: Actually if you...
Leslie: Ben thinks that I'm a steamroller. That's unbelievable. How dare he think that I'm a steamroller.
Ann: Leslie, I'm just telling you this because I love you
Leslie: I know. He's just going through a phase right now and eventually we're just going to both be friends again.
Ann: No, what I was going to say is that you really are a
Leslie: I know, Anne. You keep starting all these sentences and not finishing them.
Ann: YOU ARE A STEAMROLLER. YOU ARE A MASSIVE, ENORMOUS, RUNAWAY STEAMROLLER WITH NO BRAKES AND CEMENT BRICK ON THE GAS PEDAL. You made me watch all 8 Harry Potter movies. I don't even like Harry Potter.
Leslie: That's insane. You LOVE Harry Potter. You've seen all 8 movies.
Ann: When you go out to a bar, you order my drinks for me.
Leslie: Because you order white wine and it gives you a headache.
Ann: Well, it's MY headache. Leslie, you do what you want, you ignore what other people want, and you hear only what you want to hear.
...see what I mean?
So even though you don't get the pure delight of conversing with Anne all the livelong day as I do, you can imagine how pleasant it is.